top of page

The Five Confessions

Artists

Teoh Kooi Pei

Exhibition

From Bulan to Prachan

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Medium

Soot Ink & Alum Gelatin on Rice Paper

20cm (w) x 20cm (h)

3 paintings in a series

Total of 5 artworks

Year

2023

Exhibited in year 2023

Decoding is a recent work supported by CENDANA, aimed to explore the power and spirits beyond human control. The concept of this artwork, "disappearing by time," is what I felt when I first contacted the Suzhou numeral system (Huāmǎ numerals) for architectural research. Suzhou numerals originated in China, but they played a vital numeral role in Nusantara's sea trade activities 200 years ago, along with a great history of communication and interactions between the people of Nusantara and the people from China, India and Europe. It is no longer popular today but left abundant traces in historical archives, reminding us that it has gone through the vicissitudes of history. It is meaningful to older people who can understand it as a symbol of tradition and a treasure of modernity. At the same time as trying to interpret it, I hope to introduce it to more people and better understand a part of our nation's history.

fertility1_edited.jpg
obedience1_edited.jpg
20231022_183248_edited_edited.png
appearance1_edited.jpg
body shape1_edited.jpg
virginity1_edited.jpg

I reflect on the constraints and helplessness that women in modern society generally suffer through five confessions:

Appearance, “These are the eyebrows I painted throughout the year; they piled up into mountains just to look good on my face. – presenting oneself neatly and decently is manners.”

Body Shape, “These are my body shape at all ages, I’m not happy with them whether it’s front or side. – Dissatisfaction creates space for improvement, whether it’s striving for satisfaction or accepting the status quo, as long as it’s one’s own choice, it’s not wrong.”

 

Virginity, “This is my hymen, it’s just not right either broken or intact. – ill intentions weigh everything heavily, warding off those and guarding one’s heart, it remains unbreakable even when it is thin and fragile.”

Obedience, “This is my shrinking living space, it is clogged with junk and filled with scars. – The accumulation of junk and scars is most likely the result of greed and laziness, the old saying ‘let bygones be bygones’ applies here too, it’s time to clear these burdens.”

Fertility, “This is my natural duty to nurture life; starting with my warm welcome of life’s seed, to the end when it is full of mud and smog. – Life comes empty and goes back to emptiness, the experiences in between are not the final destination.”

Each "confession" mentioned above consists of three images, which are independent yet coherent; they are collected by cut-outs originating from one single painting, and then rearranged to form another way of "balance" or "chaos." The painting materials are ink and gelatin alum; the ink-repellent properties of gelatin alum are used to achieve contrasting effects on high-absorbent rice paper.

通过五个剖白反映出女性普遍在这个现代社会中所遭受的规束与无可奈何,然经过思维成长,每一幅画都有了新的诠释:

  外貌, “这是我一年中所画的眉毛,它们堆成了一座座山,只为了好看。-先敬罗衣再敬人,把自己收葺得干净体面,是素养。”

  身材, “这是我身体的曲线,无论我处于那个年纪,无论是正面还是侧面,我都不满意。-不满意有不满意所创造出来的进步空间,是走向更满意或是接受现状,只要是自己的选择便没错。”

  童贞, “这是我的处女膜,它破裂也不对,完璧也不对。-一片薄薄的膜,落入有心人手里足有千斤,杜绝有心人,守护己心,再薄亦坚不可摧。”

  臣服, “这是我越来越小的生活空间,里面被垃圾堵满,还有很多伤痕。-日积月累的垃圾及伤痕绝大可能是贪婪与怠惰的结果,‘既往不咎’这个旧语在这里也适用,是时候清空这些包袱了。”

  孕育, “这是我孕育生命的天责,从我敞开明亮干净的怀抱接受生命的种子,到最后的布满泥泞和乌烟瘴气。-生命一片清明地来,最终再回往一片清明地地去,此间经历种种,并非最终局。”

  每一个“剖白”都由三个画面组成,他们既是独立的也是连贯的;他们出自于同一幅画,再从原画中被截取,重新排列组合,形成另一种“平衡”抑或“混乱”。绘画材料是墨和明矾胶,借助明矾胶排斥墨水的性质,在高吸水性的宣纸上达到对比的效果。

20231022_170458_edited.jpg
bottom of page